Today is our older son's birthday. We are estranged from him, which is all the more painful on his birthday. Last night in the group, we were asked to share a moment of awe in our lives. For me, the thing that came to mind - maybe because today is his birthday - was the minute they put him in my arms. I was completely amazed that I had grown this beautiful human, who was much loved and wanted. He was a sweet and sunny child until he wasn't, and I miss who he was before he became who he is now. So I spent most of the day alone, just trying to deal with the black mass of sadness that seems to plant itself into my thorax every now and then. Everyone who had the misfortune to run into me has been very supportive and kind, and I am grateful for my loving tribe.
I just saw this online. How true it can be.
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